“What???” I thought. “Is this lady crazy?”
You see, when she asked me that question, it showed me exactly how much worry I was carrying around. These thoughts of, “What do you mean I don’t have to worry?” showed me that I was insisting on worrying. I was holding on to my worrying. I was offended that she had insinuated that I might be able to let it go. After all, I have to find gigs, I have to figure out how to find clients, I’ve got to make money, and more of it! I’ve got plenty to worry about.
And here I thought that I had let go of worry, and I had to an extent. But there was more worry, this lady had plainly seen it, and then made me aware of it. The idea of “peeling the layers of the onion” became so clear to me, and here was yet another layer uncovered.
No matter what layer you are on, worry is worry.
We know that when we worry, we are playing God. When we worry, we are questioning God. I am learning that it is entirely too easy for me to unintentionally forget all about God, and take the reigns. And this is where the worry begins.
Working for myself for all these years has given me an interesting view of the ways of the Universe, and lots of experience with taking the reigns, and then letting them go, and then picking them back up again.
There are a million different ways you can go about things, a million different places to go, people to speak with or call, and then a million different things you can say. It feels at times like a puzzle. I know there is a way to work it out, but I am just not sure of the way. And there are so may options. How am I to know what to do or where to go or who to talk to or what to say to them?
There have been times when it was as if I had stepped in front of a tidal wave that was filled with work and money. I happen to be somewhere and someone comes up or the phone rings, and the good times are on. Suddenly I’ve got more work than I can get to. Everything I touch turns to gold.
Then there have been times when it all just goes away. A business closes and I lose out, a place comes under new management, or things can just run their course and it can be time for a change. Where is that tidal wave of work and money? Where are the good times? Then it seems that the wave is going back to sea, away from me. I am left standing there on the beach with bills that I can’t pay, empty calendar spaces, and everything I touch seems to droop.
It honestly feels like I don’t have anything to do with it. As if I couldn’t stop the wave of work and money from washing over me, and I cannot stop it from going back to sea. To me it seems as if I am just standing here, and sometimes the wave is coming in, and sometimes it’s going out.
But this gets complicated really quickly because I teach people that we are not the victim. I teach that the outer world is a reflection of our inner world. So the thing to remember is that I also teach that we are not the wave!
How is that? Well, on one side we are the inner/outer or cause/effect, but in the big picture, we are the observer. We observe the wave coming in and going out. We observe the cause and effect. We observe our outer world as well as the inner world.
Of course it is easy to not worry when the wave is coming at you. Somehow though, we make it through those times when the wave goes out to sea and away from us.
We come to realize that when the wave moves in one direction, it is merely gaining momentum to swing back in the other direction. So that we know the wave only goes out so that it can come back in and vice-versa.
I’ve somewhere along the line, lost that desperate clawing or hanging on for dear life feeling. I’ve quit worrying about where “it” is going to come from and begun to just know that it will come. I’ve given up my ideas of how “it” should come and come to the understanding that “all is as all should be”.
Today, as long as and as much as I can remember that “God is the doer”, I don’t have to worry anymore.
Kyle Shiver is a spiritual and energy healer, and a life coach. Call 912-495-8520 or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org for your session today!