Thank goodness, because even though I supposedly knew better, I had still fallen prey to “the blame game”. I had still fallen into negativity and depression and complaining. It was true that my master life plan hadn’t gone exactly the way I wanted it to, but… enough is enough.
I got sick of myself.
What I became aware of was that things weren’t really so bad. It wasn’t like the earth had cracked into pieces, or I was suffering with terminal cancer or anything. But I had convinced myself that things were very bad, nothing was going my way, and that life was very difficult. I had become unhappy with everything.
But even though I felt unhappy with everything, it didn’t make any sense to me, because I have everything for God’s sake. A beautiful wife, a beautiful daughter, at the time we had a hound dog named Miss Clara Belle,… we had cars and we were working, and… one day I just realized that I was angry because this was not what I had wanted. I had wanted to be very rich and very successful in the music industry and I had not gotten that.
So I got pissed and acted like a baby.
The only thing you can really do when you realize that you’re acting like a baby, is stop. And the way I stopped was mostly by changing my language. In other words, I had to stop talking negatively and start talking positively. Even though I didn’t really feel so positive.
I caught myself one day when someone asked me to lunch, saying, “No I can’t because I have to go get my daughter from the Y.” and I changed it right there on the spot to, “Thanks for asking but I get to go pick up my little girl and play in the playground with her today!”
And this is exactly the process that I used to convince myself that I live in Heaven and that I’ve got it made. I did it by changing my language, and it was so interesting to me, because most often(though not all the time) my feelings would follow my words. I noticed if I negatively said “I’ve got to go pick up my daughter or cut the grass, or go to work” then I would feel negatively about it. I noticed that if I changed my words to “I get to pick up my beautiful kid, or mow my beautiful lawn, or go play music and get payed for it”, then suddenly I felt pretty good.
Pay attention to the words that you say, because they are very important. Your feelings will follow your words. And if you convince yourself that things are hard and life is tough and all that, then it will be.
Why not convince yourself that life is good and easy and that you’ve got it made? I mean, really… have you been to Haiti lately? Whoever you are if you are reading this, I know you’ve got it made.
I can only hope that you know it too.