There was a man who was visiting a town, and he took a tour of the town gardens. This wasn’t just any town garden though, as they boasted “This is the most beautiful and elaborate garden in all the land!”
As the tour guide explained and told stories of the garden and where various plants and trees came from, the man examined a rose that had caught his eye. On the underside of the rose he noticed a spec of dirt. He exclaimed “There is a spec of dirt on this rose, so how can you claim that this garden is so great?”
The man in our story was standing in the middle of acre’s of beautifully manicured gardens, and he could only see the spec of dirt. There isn’t much use in trying to explain this to the man though, because his brain can only see what is wrong, it cannot see all the beauty that surrounds him. He may even tell himself that he is “just trying to be helpful”, but this man is always “just trying to be helpful”. He may even say “somebody has to point out what is wrong so that it can be righted!” When the brain has been trained to see what is wrong or out of place, that is all it will see, no matter where the man may go.
Chances are that you know someone who is like this man in our story. I myself must always guard against this behavior, because at times my brain goes directly to “You should have done it this way instead of that way”, or like the man in our story I will say “This is not what you say it is because I found a spec of dirt!” When this happens, it is purely my ego, and I know that it is my own inner inferiority complex at work. This is what causes the need to be “right”, or to know a better way to do it than you do. If I’m not careful, I can use these tactics to create a false sense of superiority for myself. This is a clear indication for me that I am “off the beam”, and need to “right size” myself, or at the very least, just keep my mouth shut.
My wife does always know what I’m thinking, but if I keep my mouth shut, she can’t prove it!
Kyle Shiver is a husband and father, an inspirational speaker, meditation guide, and musician. Listen to free talks and guided meditations HERE