And one day it occurred to me that what was going to have to change was me. This is because I decided to stop blaming the Universe, and start blaming my self.
Maybe the word “blame” isn’t appropriate… how about, “I decided to take some responsibility.”
That was not easy.
Look at it like this, when life is stinking, I sure don’t want to think that it is me that is the cause. Heck, anything but that. Anyone but me.
Nobody wants to be wrong. Nobody wants to have made mistakes or bad decisions. Nobody wants to have to admit defeat either.
However, looking back now it seems that this was the biggest change of all.
The moment I began to think along the lines of, “What am I doing to cause this?” things in my life began to change.
That is because in order for me to go from blaming and putting the responsibility on the Universe and everyone else and everything else,
A change had to come over me.
That’s right, I’d changed already!
No, things didn’t happen overnight, and as my Spiritual Advisor reminded me, “It took you a long time to get to this point, and it might take just as long to get to another point.”
To be honest with you, most of the changes that happened were quite pleasant and easy.
A good example of this is what happened with the music career I’d given so much of my life to. I had fought and struggled and hung on and pushed for years, and my music career had allowed me to just get by in life. “Doggy paddling” was how it always felt. Not really sinking, but not swimming either.
I clearly remember saying out loud, “God, I know that I am a musician and that I am to play music(because music is me) so what am I doing wrong? Am I playing the wrong music? In the wrong places?
“Where do I go?” I wondered. “What do I do?”
That very week my wife and I had been looking for a good church for us to go to, and we found one that we really liked.
And as many of you know, the music director at this church soon heard that I was a musician, invited me to play, and this began a transition from what was not working so well, to something that works much better.
I enjoyed it. The hours were much more in my favor. Everyone treated me like royalty. And … they paid more.
It was several years before this grew into a regular thing, but that was okay. Now I knew that there was something else, there were other paths, there were other places to play that would supply me with what I want in life.
Now it is me who is music director at our church. Now I don’t push and struggle and fight for gigs anymore, and my financial situation is much more to my liking.
All because I stopped pointing fingers. All because I decided to stop being the victim in my life and clearly define things with the Universe. All because I stopped and asked, “What can I do differently?”
The Universe will tell you. The Universe would like for you to know. Your good is actually already there for you and it is trying to get to you.
And you are the only thing that can keep it away.