I spent last week at a meditation retreat, and there was no phone service there or wifi.
No Facebook for a week. And though it was difficult at first, it turned out to be a really nice and much-needed break.
What became very clear to me during the week is that I am still very hurt and grieving over the loss of my mother. I catch myself staring off into space for long periods of time at nothing in particular, feeling as if I am about to pass out, then at times I just cry.
It seems like after the cry, it feels a little better, but I am aware that the next cry is now building up.
It starts all over again.
And in the meantime I am working and doing the necessary things, but not much else. Not working on a new book, a new painting, a new song, a new CD, or anything at all, and do not really feel led to do any of those things right now.
Which is a very strange and new experience for me.
And those of you who have been to a meditation retreat where you spent lots of time in the silence, know how odd it is to re-enter the real world.
Everyone is talking and moving way too fast.
And people often say things that don’t make any sense or that are not necessary. And the last couple of days back in the, “real world” has revealed to me that most things that we say are to support some idea of superiority.
Forgive me in advance if this isn’t you, but most of us are afflicted with it. Especially those of us who don’t think we are. The more offended you are by the idea, is probably an indication of just how superior you are.
We feel superior to people who want to feel superior because we know better than to feel superior. And so we are better than them.
Those poor souls.
It is at least 90% of the Facebook and social media posts I see.
And as Reverend Dale Worley often reminds me, “You spot it, you got it!”
And so this is just an observation of myself and my need to feel superior, which actually arises from feeling inferior.
The work is to continue in developing a sense of, “Oneness,” no matter the situation, to continue to practice compassion and understanding, and to remember that we are all in this together.