Do you ever ask yourself that?
My therapist asks me that. And so does my friend Tony.
I let it all spill out about how everything is wrong, about how terrible I feel, and about how hopeless it all seems at times. And they pose the question to me, “So what?”
The little question can be deflating.
After all, things are really bad! Can they not see how important this is? Can they not see all the implications?
Not that it is fun to admit, but I can be a little overly dramatic.
And that is exactly what it is. Drama. The movie in my head. This entire play or scenario about how things should be but aren’t. About how I should be but I am not. Even about how God should be. “Why won’t God give me what I want/deserve?” or, “Why is God doing this to me?”
Another friend of mine said recently, “Instead of saying, “I am depressed,” I have started saying, “I am all wrapped up in my self-pity today.”
And that hit me really close to home. Here I am saying how everything should be. How I should be. How everything is wrong. Being afraid. And this leads me straight to anxiety and depression every time. Self pity.
Now, I am not implying that it shouldn’t hurt when people die. It does.
And it doesn’t feel good to have more bills than you have money.
It also doesn’t feel good to think that you should be better than you are.
But we all hurt. We all are in this same boat of the cycle of life. And at least you are trying to pay bills or you want to pay bills. (There are a lot of people who don’t care in the least.) And we ALL could use some improvement.
Thus the question, “So what?”
And the point is that it isn’t that big of a deal as I want to make it out to be.
I have to stop playing God. This is not my show. I have to find acceptance of myself, my circumstances, and of those around me.
We can clearly see that there is always going to be, “bad” things or problems, but there is always going to be a lot of good things too.
Do I want to sit around and do nothing except focus on the problems? Or can I find it within me to focus on the good and then get up and do something. Anything!
And so today I ask not only myself, but you as well, “So what?”