Other people cannot build your self confidence, you have to do it yourself.
Other people are not responsible for how we feel or for our actions. When we place this responsibility upon other people, we also look to them for our self confidence, and this will not work out. If you like me and I get what I want, then I feel good and I have confidence, but what if someone doesn’t like me? What if I don’t get what I want? I am crushed beyond belief.
Once upon a time, I was a retail sales manager. The company that I worked for was not playing around either. We knew how many people walked into the store, and how many left as a buyer. We knew how many “add on sales” we made, and we were constantly trained in the art of making the sale. The number one thing was drilled into our brains was that every time someone says “no”, you are one step closer to your “yes”.
I found this concept not only interesting, but it turned out to be amazing. If you walked into my store, you could bet that I was going to ask for the sale. I asked everyone who came in, to buy something and as a result, my sales results were off the charts. Things didn’t really work out between myself and retail sales, but I took what they taught me there, and have used this single concept to make a living playing music for the last 18 years. How many people do you know who have done that?
Most people stop when they get turned down the first two or three times. They take it personally and they cannot take the rejection, or they really don’t want what they thought they wanted. They lack direction and they lack self confidence.
Most of the time, things are not personal, but we have a tendency to take things very personally.