Your Best!

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Kanuga 2017

It seems to me that everyone is always doing the best they can.

Sure it is easy to judge others. It is even easier to judge ourselves. And a little secret that lots of people don’t know is that when we judge others we are actually judging ourselves.

The only reason for needing to feel superior is your inferiority complex.

Meanwhile the only reason to feel inferior… is your inferiority complex.

When you open your eyes and look out at the world, what you are actually seeing is a reflection of how you feel about yourself. read more

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Roy Eugene Davis 1931-2019

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Kyle with Roy Eugene Davis at Center for Spiritual Awareness 2015

Roy was a beautiful Spirit. He always had a big smile on his face, he was always so gracious and gentle, yet he had all about him a great magnificent power.

My great appreciation and study of Paramahansa Yogananda led me to Roy, because Roy had been taught and initiated into the Kriya Yoga tradition by Yogananda. Roy had also been ordained in the Self Realization Fellowship by Yogananda and was appointed minister of SRF in Phoenix Arizona back in the 1950’s just a short time before Yogananda made his transition. read more

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What We Are, “Trying to BE!”

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At Center for Spiritual Awareness 2017

People are forever fascinating to me.

Technology and medicine, and the good works that people are doing all around the world, are just blow my mind.

Then there are people who seem to just sink. Often they act like they, “want” to sink, but we all know better by now.

Or at least I hope we do.

The key here is to know that everyone wishes for better.

Wanting.

And the thing about, “wanting” is that you can be wanting while on the bottom of the heap, but you can also be, “wanting” when you are at the top of the heap. read more

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The, “Inner Transformation”

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First off, HAPPY NEW YEAR to you and to your family! I hope you know how much it means to me that you would take the time to read my blog, or listen to my music, and invite me to Unity’s all over the southeast to speak and play music.

I am a blessed man.

As we enter into this new year 2019, most of us at least consider our past and where we have come from, and then we think about what we want our future to look like.

There is no doubt that our thinking, and our actions, both help to shape our lives and how our lives unfold to a large degree. And we are encouraged to set intentions and to live intentionally. read more

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Emotional Balance

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At Center for Spiritual Awareness 2017

The idea of being, “centered,” or, “grounded,” is pretty much the aim for those of us on a spiritual path.

It it very easy to get trapped into, “emotionalism,” and find ourselves perhaps a little too happy all the time. Or it can swing the other way and we can find ourselves a little too sad or depressed all the time.

Or of course there are those of us who have pretty regular mood swings and you never can tell what you will get when you encounter us.

I work with many people who’s brain chemistry may be a little, “off,” and so they take psychotropic meds. Sometimes these work wonders, while other times they seem to only make things worse.

We don’t want anxiety and panic attacks, or depression, or to wallow in self-pity. At the same time we don’t want to go into a manic or overly excited mode either.

I personally have spiritual guides in my life and the first thing I noticed about them is that they are pretty balanced. They don’t give you a knee-jerk reaction, but instead they respond in an appropriate way for the situation.

They are pretty much the same every time we meet.

Some of them seem very, “light.” They almost seem untouchable, but yet they are real. They are right there sitting and talking with me.

When we think of the word, “balance,” let us imagine a tight rope walker. They hold a pole to help keep them in balance, but notice that they are constantly swaying left and right.

But to sway too far either way means trouble for them.

And if we think of the pendulum of a clock, we see that when it moves all the way to the left, it is only gaining momentum to move all the way to the right.

You see?

When we get overly excited or overly depressed, we can count on swinging back the other way, just like the pendulum of the clock.

We can clearly see that it is totally okay to have emotions and feelings and to cry when someone dies or to be elated when you get that new job you’ve wanted for so long.

But we can also see that the center is where we want to be.

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Let It Out

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Unity Village 2017 Summer

I thought I was crazy.

Yes, I was in a hospital for crazy people, and yet, they were telling me that, “If you think you are crazy, then you aren’t. If you really were crazy, you would be telling us that you are not crazy.”

?

I get it. I got it. Okay okay then. So what gives?

Bottled up emotions. The stuff that has been stuffed down and not properly dealt with. Who exactly knows the, “proper” way to deal with our emotions anyway?

Finally one day I just gave in. Why not? I said, “Okay here you go!” Then I started speaking what I really thought and how I really felt.

Over a period of a few sessions I let it all out. Everything people had said to me and done to me. All the things that went through my mind that I thought nobody else ever thought.

At first it felt as if I was throwing knives. But nobody flinched. Nobody got up and ran. As a matter of fact, everyone nodded and knew what I was talking about. And there were many of them who had been through very similar situations as me, and some had been through a lot worse.

I know people who have held onto things for a majority of their lives. And it has nearly destroyed them, and I know some who were totally destroyed and are gone now.

It is such a big bad terrible thing to us, that we just stuff it down and it eats away at us from the inside. We need relief from the pain, and so we seek something to ease us. Alcohol, drugs, smoking, food, sex, it could be anything really.

As if the same exact thing hasn’t happened to millions of other people.

That may sound like a harsh thing for me to say and it may be difficult for you to hear, but it is the truth.

Something bad happens to us and we bottle it up inside and then we make it much worse. And we can continually make it worse and it can become our friend, or out excuse.

At this point it is even harder to let it go, because now we won’t have anything special about ourselves. We won’t have an excuse anymore.

I know because I have done it. I still do it now. Things happen and I internalize them and keep them inside because maybe I don’t know how to respond or what to say. Or maybe I don’t want to offend someone or say the wrong thing.

There is a saying that I’ve heard people in twelve-step programs use, and I think it goes for everyone else too; “We are only as sick as the secrets we keep.”

If you are holding on to something, and it may even be something that you don’t typically even think about, you gotta let it out. Get it out. Share it with someone. Get rid of the secrets and see that

You are okay. We are okay. It is okay.

Let it out!

 

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How You Feel About What You Feel

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Did you know that you are probably feeling the way you are supposed to feel?

Working in spiritual counseling, energy healing, and life coaching, I get to talk to lots of people, and I talk to lots of people anyway, and generally I never hear anything that doesn’t make sense.

But we don’t like to feel afraid, or to grieve, or to feel uncomfortable.

And when we do feel anything other than good, and we don’t like it, we often think, “I shouldn’t feel this way,” or, “I should be better than this.”

An example of this from my own life is dealing with the loss of my mother this year. There is a part of me that tells me that, “You are a minister for God’s sake, get over it already!” At times I think that, “I really should be able to deal with death better than this.”

Then I look around me and see that I have been functioning and going to work and doing my work with clients, making it a point to spend quality time with my daughter, checking in on my father every day, working in the yard, and generally doing what is next on my plate.

But I don’t like grief. I don’t like the waves of sadness that will suddenly wash over me at unexpected times. I am just like you or anyone else, I want to feel good!

And so my first reaction is to deny the feeling or to immediately go into, “You’ve got to get over this, you are better than this” mode of thinking. And in doing this I am trying to get away from the feelings.

When we deny or repress or run from feelings, then what do they do? They get bigger and heavier.

Once while facilitating a meditation workshop, there was a girl who said, “I just cannot get quiet because when I do, I just feel so sad.”

So I asked her, “Well what is wrong with that? Why don’t you just feel sad? Why don’t you feel REALLY sad? Why don’t you move into the sadness?”

She sat there for a moment or two and then suddenly started laughing out loud.

The truth is that every part of your being is geared towards life, and love, and feeling good, and growing and bettering yourself and your life. So when something we don’t like happens, including our feelings, it is a natural reaction to turn away from it. 

We all do it.

However, since we are working with spiritual or Truth Principal’s here, when we realize that we are denying or running from negative or hurtful feelings, we can then stop the running and the denying and…

welcome them. Move into them.

Soon enough we may find ourselves laughing!

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A Meditation/Imagination Exercise

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Kyle speaking at the UMMAS gathering at Kanuga 2015

I want you to imagine standing on a stage. 

A nice beautiful wooden stage such as perhaps the Kennedy Center. There are lights around the edge of the stage. You feel the air on your face as you look out into the audience and you can see up into the balcony as well. 

It’s a full house. 

“How did I get up here?” “What am I doing here?” “What am I supposed to do or say?” You might ask. 

There is no teleprompter, There are no instruments, no microphones, no nothing around you. 

Nothing but space. And the anticipation of the audience and your own anticipation. 

Now let’s imagine that this great beautiful stage is actually at the center core of our being. And that the people we see in the audience are the cells and organs of our body. 

Everything changes. 

This isn’t a comedy routine, a concert, or a lecture of some kind. This is not, “Who’s Got Talent” or anything like that. 

This is the real deal. 

What words will you choose to speak to your body? How do you see your body? How do you feel about the idea that you can speak to your body and the idea that your body is listening to you?

Not only is your body listening to you, it is carrying out your orders. It is doing things as best it can in order to please you. 

You have gathered the troops. How will you treat them? What will you say to them? How will you instruct them? 

Perhaps this is the beginning of a relationship that has been neglected for far too long.

A new beginning. 

I’d like to thank Reverend Kelly Isola and Mother Myrtle Fillmore for implanting this vision into my mind. I’ve been working with this meditation/imagination exercise for a couple of weeks now and though there have been no big miraculous healings to speak of, I can say that things do seem very different. I seem very different.

It is a wonderful exercise not only for the body but to imagine that we are speaking to the mind as well. Because we teach that, “we are not the body or the mind,” and so we decide what to think, or what to say and do.

Would love to hear your thoughts on this and your experiences if you try it out!

Namaste

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Superiority. It’s An Epidemic

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Kyle/Saint Simons Island 2017

I spent last week at a meditation retreat, and there was no phone service there or wifi.

No Facebook for a week. And though it was difficult at first, it turned out to be a really nice and much-needed break.

What became very clear to me during the week is that I am still very hurt and grieving over the loss of my mother. I catch myself staring off into space for long periods of time at nothing in particular, feeling as if I am about to pass out, then at times I just cry.

It seems like after the cry, it feels a little better, but I am aware that the next cry is now building up.

It starts all over again.

And in the meantime I am working and doing the necessary things, but not much else. Not working on a new book, a new painting, a new song, a new CD, or anything at all, and do not really feel led to do any of those things right now.

Which is a very strange and new experience for me.

And those of you who have been to a meditation retreat where you spent lots of time in the silence, know how odd it is to re-enter the real world.

Everyone is talking and moving way too fast.

And people often say things that don’t make any sense or that are not necessary. And the last couple of days back in the, “real world” has revealed to me that most things that we say are to support some idea of superiority.

Forgive me in advance if this isn’t you, but most of us are afflicted with it. Especially those of us who don’t think we are. The more offended you are by the idea, is probably an indication of just how superior you are.

We feel superior to people who want to feel superior because we know better than to feel superior. And so we are better than them.

Those poor souls.

It is at least 90% of the Facebook and social media posts I see.

And as Reverend Dale Worley often reminds me, “You spot it, you got it!”

haha…

Yes.

And so this is just an observation of myself and my need to feel superior, which actually arises from feeling inferior.

The work is to continue in developing a sense of, “Oneness,” no matter the situation, to continue to practice compassion and understanding, and to remember that we are all in this together.

Blessings!

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Being Okay When It Is Not Okay

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Unity Village 2017 Summer

Spiritual principle’s and Truth principle’s are ideas and/or concepts that we work with in order to create less suffering in our lives.

Suffering is replaced with serenity, emotional balance, compassion and understanding for ourselves and our fellows, and hopefully an all round more abundant life.

Life is pretty easy when things are going your way. You are financially set, your family is all healthy, and your job is going well. When things are going our way there is no challenge and there is no suffering.(Usually)

It is when things aren’t going so well that we have the opportunity to put into practice the principle’s and concepts that we study.

Accidents happen, people get sick and die or die unexpectedly and too young, our partner may decide they don’t want to be our partner anymore, and something or someone may come along and threaten our financial security.

Sometimes things seem to happen all at once. You wake up one day and realize that nothing is the way you want it to be. You may not even be the way you want to be or think you should be. You may not be able to live up to the expectations that you have set for yourself.

There are times when it is only normal to feel hurt or to be in grieving. It is never wrong to feel whatever it may be that we are feeling, but what is most important is what we do with it.

Our actions.

Have I become too self involved? Have I slipped into self-pity? Have I forgotten that every down time in my life has been followed by an up time at some point? And that the up time usually seems to take to long to get here? Have I lost sight of the fact that whatever my problem is, it is probably a, “first world problem?” That there are people all around who have much more challenging situations than I do?

The fact of the matter here is that if everything has to be just exactly the way I want it or thing it should be in order for me to be happy, then there will most likely be a lot of unhappy days.

We have to learn to accept what is. We have to learn to be okay when things are not okay. The ideal goal here is to be centered and grounded, no matter what situation appears in our lives.

Now let’s get out there and be okay!

NOTE: I only take on a few clients at a time, and right now have a few spaces open for late summer/fall sessions. Personal sessions with me $100 but you can get discounts if you buy more than one session at a time. Just e-mail kyle@kyleshiver.com to arrange your FREE 15-30 minute consultation. And thank you for supporting Spirit Ministries

 

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