Working as a life coach, it seems that my most important job is to repeat back to people what they say to me. This is when people stammer and tell me “well, I didn’t say that”, or “well I didn’t really mean it that way”. This is when people decide that I am not for them and go find someone who will listen to them complain and then tell them what they want to hear, OR we make another appointment and their life begins to change for the better.
I beg for your pardon if that sounds arrogant, because it isn’t meant to be that way. I used to complain a lot, I used to be a victim, and I used to go from person to person, too. If someone disagreed with me, or if someone tried to hold me to something, I’d find something about them I didn’t like, some reason why this just wasn’t going to work out, and I’d move along. I would say “You just don’t understand”, or “This is different”, (or I would think that to myself) and away I’d go. So I am completely okay with people who move along, and I have no hard feelings whatsoever. As a matter of fact, it is the same for you as it was for me, you are just preparing the ground. At least you are trying to move in a positive direction, and if you keep trying, eventually you will have happen to you what happened to me; it will get so painful that you will listen to someone else.
If you are stressed out, if you are in turmoil, if your life is not going well, these are sure indicator’s that your thinking is out of line. But this is the way you think, so when someone tries to put your thoughts in a straight line, it doesn’t seem right. In other words, you have gotten yourself here to this spot and you don’t like it. You don’t have what you want. But you insist on continuing. You are upset when someone challenges you or introduces a different idea. But you want something different, right? You make sense to you, so initially, doing something different is going to feel like you are doing the wrong thing. Until you start seeing results that you like, results that are different, results that you want. Then it will start to make sense.
What is frustrating you? Do you feel like you are banging your head against the wall? Are you trying to change someone, or talk someone in to changing? Are you trying to accomplish a goal and not having any luck? It may be that you simply need to change your tactics.
Here’s the best tip I can give you; Find someone who already has what you want. It could be money, a healthy relationship, or just emotional stability. This is the person you would want to listen to, and it might not be easy. You do not want to ask someone who is not rich, how to get rich. You do not want to ask someone who has been married three times how to have a long-term stable relationship. Someone who already has what you want, knows how to get what you want. You are going to have to do things differently if you want to get different results.