Letting It All Out (part 2)


Your life is kind of like the dashboard in your car.

You might have a door ajar, or you might need to check oil now. Or when that little yellow light starts flashing, you’ve got about twenty miles worth of gasoline left. Some of the newer models will even tell you that one of your tires needs some air.

We can ignore all these signals if we want to, but what is going to happen?

I ignored all the signals. I had another drink, another toke, did another line, found another girlfriend, and told myself underneath my breath, “Everything is cool man, you can handle this”.

The signals got bigger. The lights were flashing, strange sounds were occurring, and then I found myself stranded. I had it in drive, I was accelerating, and finally I heard the engine chug a few times, saw the smoke coming out of the tail-pipe, and… that was it.

I was going nowhere.

So I opened up the door and got out, only to find that I was sitting in a group therapy session. I had been hospitalized. I was surrounded by a bunch of other losers who had all driven their cars to the final death too. Then there was the guy in the white shirt and tie who was smiling at me.

He was happy and I hated him for it.

“I just don’t get all this God shit” I said, to which he leaned forward and smiled and exclaimed, “Who do you think you are boy?”

It would have been really great to have our following interaction on video, but there is no video or even dictation of it. All I can say is that I unzipped the bag and threw it all out there on the table. I told this guy what I thought about everything, and how I was feeling about everything, and for the first time in my life I just said it all.

All the things I wasn’t supposed to say. All the things I wasn’t supposed to feel. All the things I wasn’t supposed to think. All the things I wasn’t supposed to be, that I was. All the things that made no sense to me. All the things and people I hated. I just threw it all out all over the place.

Something started dying, and something started being born.

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