I had been playing music around Atlanta for about a year and a half. Having played guitar since early childhood, it was simply a matter of me learning and getting used to singing.
It started with going to a weekly open mic at the old Midtown Music Hall, and soon I was going to other weekly open mic’s, making friends, and there developed this group of us “open mic folks” who hung out and played our songs for each other. There was an open mic to choose from on any night of the week in Atlanta, and soon I became very engrossed in this activity of writing songs and then taking them out and playing them. The typical open mic was crowded with people, and each person who signed up would get “3 songs or fifteen minutes” of fame.
The next thing I knew someone said to me, “Hey Kyle we are doing a songwriter’s in the round gig at “Eat Your Vegetables” (which later became the Vortex in Little Five Points) and we need a third guy if you are interested!”
A real gig? Playing my own original music? I vaguely remember his voice through the fog saying, “It doesn’t pay much but we can put out a tip jar and you can sell cd’s if you have any.”
Of course my answer was “yes” and of course I was already on the path, and of course, at the time I didn’t know it.
For another year or so I would work all day, and then go out to either an open mic or a gig every night. Sometimes I’d sit on my bed playing guitar and I would wonder, “What in the world am I going to do with my life?” I’ve told the story of my self-realization a million times. When it finally dawned on me who and what I truly am, that I was going to be a musician, I was already doing it. I called a friend and told him, and he said, “Uh, I thought you knew that already?”
I was the last one to know.
But not this time. This time I see very clearly what I am already doing. I see very clearly what I already am. I see things evolving, and though I am not yet sure of how they will evolve, I know that they are evolving.
Just the other day while having lunch with my brother Micheal Elliot, he made some statements that are still reverberating loudly in my head; “Everything I’ve ever done has always made a lot of money, but money was never my motive.” he said.
This rang so loudly in my mind because of the fact that I’ve always lived from day to day and week to week. I’ve always existed on the lower level of the financial rung. And I want to stop. There is a wife and a daughter now. There is a house and a yard now. Though I seem very calm on the surface, there is at times the most unbearable pressure underneath. This pressure causes me to focus on what I perceive myself as not having, which is money.
And then I am operating our of fear, instead of love.
So thank you Micheal for that message. We spoke many words over lunch, but those were the words that mattered.
Let us at all times and in all of our endeavor’s, ask ourselves, “Am I acting out of fear or out of love?” And let us know that at our core, we are pure Love. Let us go through the process of transitioning ourselves from a world of fear to the world of Love(Heaven).
This time as things continue to unfold, I will not be surprised and things won’t be unexpected. This time I will be very clear about my intentions and motives. And this time it is going to be about less fear and more love!