Finding God


When I saw what I refer to as “God” for the first time, I was totally dumbfounded. The experience was like getting a brand new set of eyes, or being in a brand new world. To say that I was overwhelmed would be an understatement.  I saw and knew, and it lasted for a few minutes, and then I  slipped back into unconsciousness and became not as aware. As time has gone on and I have practiced meditation more and more, I find that I am present more and more and when I am present, I have these new eyes and I live in a new world, a world where there is nothing that isn’t “God”. It is refreshing to just sit down and let out a breath of relief, because God, the Creator, is not lost at all. The Creator is right here, all around me, inside of me, the Creator IS ME too.

I realize that for many people, this thought can be a bit too much. Westernized religions show us pictures of Jesus and tell us of this Heaven that is in the sky. I know for me, these things that I learned in early childhood became embedded very deeply in my mind. In my personal childhood for instance, God was portrayed much in the same way that Santa Clause was. I was told that if I was good and didn’t sin, I would go to Heaven when I died. However if I sinned, I would burn in Hell for eternity. This thinking has been embedded into people’s minds for centuries, and there are many people today spreading these same messages. The message of fear, guilt, and shame. I have come to believe that God made us all, not just the people who are just like me! We are all one human family!

Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, Mother Theresa, Lao Tsu, and today we have Eckhart Tolle, Wayne Dyer, and a host of other authors and teachers. These teachers all lived in the past and now in the present, to show us the way. Their words are like fingers pointing to the moon, but they aren’t the moon. So don’t worship the finger! There are messengers all around us in our everyday lives, we need only to see them.

Some people recoil from the suggestion that they, in fact, are God, or that they have any connection whatsoever to the Creator. Even people who pray regularly don’t usually feel like prayer is working in their lives. It is easy to think that when things are going your way, your prayers are working, and when things are tough, they’re not, but think of how one-sided a relationship like this is!!! I spent many years as a victim of the world, and life seemed to just be happening to me. I just could not understand how this relationship between God and I was supposed to work. I truly was convinced that I was trapped here. Understandably, I don’t remember before I was here or asking to be here, I just came into consciousness here and what I saw was frightening to me. I could get hurt or die or somebody could hurt me or someone I loved, and I had NO CONTROL. True it is that there are things beyond our control, but I got so carried away with those things that I never realized all the things that we CAN control, thus I lost control of those things too. In developing a relationship with God, I am also developing a relationship with myself, and with the world around me, and slowly but surly, I am leaving “victimhood” behind!

The biggest lesson is that God is not someone to bargain with. I realized that maybe God isn’t here just to make sure that my every desire is fulfilled? It is very possible to have a direct relationship with God, to communicate with God, and God will communicate to us too. However, approaching this relationship  with wanting, and asking, and expecting, and demanding, will only leave us in frustration.

When you see, you will say “Thank you!” and “WOW!!!” and you will smile.

In Absolute Presence,





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