Today, I can do things that I am afraid of. In the past, my fears kept me from doing most everything that I really wanted to do. I was a man of many excuses. I didn’t have enough money, there wasn’t time in my busy schedule, I had a million of them. I spent most of my time doing things that I didn’t really want to do, and in my mind, I really believed all those excuses. I was a perfect example of “victim mentality”. I was unaware that fear was behind it all, and I had no faith in anything. Over the years, my faith has grown, and this has allowed me a tremendous life filled with abundance that I never even imagined.
What is faith? As I sit here tonight(actually it’s early morning), faith means to me that I know my fears are not true. When I had no faith, my fears ran my life. Now that I know my fears are not true, I don’t have to listen to them. Many times I am nervous or afraid, but now I do it anyway! Faith means being afraid, and doing it anyway. Not listening to the fears that tell me that I’m not good enough, that question my every move, that worries that someone won’t like me or that someone will question me. I will do it anyway.
Today I spoke at a memorial service. I was so nervous that despite preparation, I made a mistake in my reading. I didn’t make a big deal out of it, I just continued on and did my best. I did settle down after a while, and then I sang Amazing Grace. I belted it out big time too! By the time I had spoken and was half way through the song, all my fear had gone and I was enjoying myself. I decided to open my mouth and fill that church with my sound, and I did. This is glory, this is SPIRIT, and this is me.
A few weeks ago, I was the officiant at a pretty good sized wedding. This wedding had everything to intimidate me, but I did it anyway, and I rocked it!
I am constantly blogging on spiritual topics, I give spiritual council, I lead meditations all around town and sometimes in other cities. I am writing a book. This fall I will be traveling to different church’s and not only playing music, but I will be giving the message. I present myself as an authority, a teacher, and a guide. I have big plans and goals, and some days I am afraid. Many times I am totally okay, and this is mainly because I have spent many years as a musician in front of people, but at times I can be overcome with fear. Sometimes terror. But these are all things that I want to do. They are all what I feel led to do. These things are my heart and soul, and when the fear shows up, I do it anyway. Sometimes it isn’t so easy, but I am fully aware that the fears that come upon me at times are made up of untruths.
Last year while touring Unity church’s, I for some reason came down with terror just before going on stage in Charlotte. Who knows why? It was a room full of nice people, everything was okay, and I was going to play a few songs that I had played a thousand times before. But it hit me like a ton of bricks. I wanted to run. I thought “There are so many people in this show, that they will never notice that I left.” Then it was too late, it was time for me to get up there and do my thing. Something that had never happened before happened; my hands started shaking violently. I could barely plug my guitar in, and then when I began the song, I could barely play. I literally had to force my hands, to force myself to do this. I decided right there that “If I hit every note wrong, and sing every line wrong, I am still doing this!” Once the fear figured out that it was going to have to kill me to win, it left even quicker than it had come upon me. I was free! The hands were hitting the right notes, and I could sing!
You are the Power of God. You are the Presence of God. You are the Light of God. You are the Love of God. God made you and you can do whatever you wish to do. You are good enough, and you deserve to do what you want. I won’t tell you that the fear isn’t real, but I will tell you that it is based on the un-truth. It is all a lie. Don’t think that because you are afraid, that you have no faith. Know that God made you for a reason, and deny the fear! Do something you are afraid of, or that is outside of your comfort zone! That is what faith is.
These things I am doing today, are just practice. Its all small stuff compared to what I am truly called to do. So if I cannot get up and talk in front of 50 or 60 people, how do I expect to talk in front of 500? My prayer is;
God is All and All is God. I see God in all people and all things. God flows through me at all times and I am aware. I see. Everyone who comes into contact with me is healed by the God that flows through me. I am grateful. My life is filled with abundance. And so it is!