Cultivating Gratitude (part 3)

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Kyle Shiver INHA

Kyle Shiver INHA

– It will take time to build your new pattern
– The first place to start is your speech
– Your words are you

There is nothing worse that intellectually knowing that you have it made in life, but feeling ungrateful and negative. How can this happen? Because of the pathways in your brain. Its a pattern that has been developed over time. There are ten thousand miles of negative pathways, and now you have made a positive affirmation. You want to be grateful and positive. But you don’t really feel it. This is normal. It took time to build and embed your pattern of negativity, it will take time to build your new pattern of positivity.

The first place to start is with our speech. Listen and observe what you say when at home, at work, and when you are with friends. If you are a generally negative person, most of what you say is probably on the negative side. This is only natural, after all, you have admitted to being negative, we know that most of the neural pathways in your brain are negative, so what do we expect? When I was a negative person, I didn’t really ever think much about what I was saying. Little did I know, that just by changing my speech, I could change my entire life.

Paramahansa Yogananda said in his book Scientific Healing Affirmations; “Words saturated with sincerity, conviction, and faith, are like highly explosive vibration bombs, which when set off, shatter the rocks of difficulties and create change desired.” In his book The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz says “The word is not just a sound or a written symbol. The word is a force; it is the power you have to express and communicate, to think, and thereby create the events in your life.”

Your words are you! Luckily, you have the power to change them. You can say something, even if you don’t really feel positive, you can begin by saying something positive anyway. Here are some exercises to help you along;

1) When you are about to talk badly about someone, say something good instead.
2) Instead of putting someone down or scolding, overlook it and find something to praise
3) Change “I have to” into “I get to”. Instead of saying “I have to go to the grocery store and go pick up my child.” say “I get to got to the grocery store and then pick up my child.”
4) Don’t talk about your problems with anyone accept your Spiritual advisor, or someone designated for this purpose who is willing to listen. When you tell everyone about your problems, this is only seeking attention, and your problems will not be solved. 
5) Make a gratitude list. Put everything on it. Now use it during the day. Instead of negative small talk, try saying “I am really grateful for this awesome job”, or “My wife is really awesome”.

Positive neural pathways are not like negative neural pathways. When we begin to put new information into the brain, new pathways will start to construct, and in time, the old pathways will die. Of course, this can be hampered when we slip back into negative thoughts, which we will do. So again, there is no instant gratification here. You must be in this for the long haul.

With your speech, become the kind of person who lifts people up instead of putting them down. Become the kind of person who points out the good, rather than the bad. Talk about what is right, instead of what is wrong. Every single time you do this, even if you don’t feel it or really mean it, you are creating new neural pathways. You are going to need these new roads in order to get to the new life that you want. Remember at all times that when you talk, you are building neural pathways. What kind of pathways you will have, is up to you.

I am most grateful that you took the time to read this! Many blessings!

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