1) You cannot love someone else until you love yourself
If you are having lots of relationship troubles, it is not because “All the crazy people are attracted to you”, it is not because people are bad, and it isn’t because you are bad. It is because you do not love your own self. If you say “That’s not true! I love myself!” but are constantly in and out of troubled relationships, you may want to stop and reconsider. In this day and age, this is kind of like jumping into a pool, and then saying “That is not true, I am not wet!” Facts are facts.
2) Communication is the key to all healthy relationships.
If you expect to have good healthy relationships in life, you must be able to communicate well. This is not only in love, but in all of your relations with family and at work and with friends or a social group. If we are insecure or afraid, or if we are quick to anger, these things can make communication difficult. What many people forget is that communication involves not only talking, but more importantly, listening! If someone says “I’m just here for a good time.” then you need to be able to hear this. How many times do we not hear, or do we overlook what someone says. Learn to peacefully speak your mind, but also learn to listen to what people say to you. One of the phrases that I hear most often is “I knew right from the start that it wasn’t going to work out.” So ????? Everyone has to be on the same page, and this requires both talking, and listening.
3) Boundaries are essential part of all relationships.
Knowing yourself, knowing what you want in a relationship, and being able to communicate, is a great beginning, but can you back it up? When I hear you speak of boundaries, this is good, but when I see you enforce them, then I know that you love yourself. It is plain and simple fact that people who do not love themselves, have no boundaries. Deep down inside we think “Anything is better than nothing at all”, and we settle for less than we deserve. We are afraid that nobody will love us, we are afraid to be alone, and somehow we can even actually begin to think that we must deserve to be in an unhealthy relationship or to be mis-treated. Create boundaries and stick to them!