Don’t Let Other People Control Your Feelings

Kyle Shiver INHA

Kyle Shiver INHA

Deep within, I have come to the understanding that things in my life have had to be the way they have been.

I learn the way I learn, and sometimes I have to learn the hard way. To be honest, this is the only way that makes sense to me anyway. You need to find out things for yourself. If you have doubts about something, or if you are curious about something, why take someone else’s word?

OSHO says that “Wisdom can only be gained through actual living experience.” So there ya have it! In other words, I can tell you how it feels to play football, but if you really want to know and experience it for yourself, then you should join a team, put on a helmet, and get out there on the field! Only then, will you truly know.

Sometimes I wish people around me were doing better. I wish they felt better. I wish there was no such thing as war. I wish there was no such thing as being homeless. I deeply understand the wish and the idea of a “Utopian Society” too. But, let me tell you what I know;

– Other people have to sometimes learn things the hard way too. I cannot change other people, I am not responsible for other people either. If it appears to me that you are about to walk off a dangerous cliff, it is okay for me to tell you, but if you don’t want to listen to me, then I will allow you to learn on your own. (like I said before, sometimes we learn the hard way) I understand. 

– Each thing in the Universe has an opposite. Scriptures tell us that “up” would be impossible without “down”, and it is just this way with all things or ideas that we know; rich/poor, good/evil, left/right, love/hate, etc… We live in a world of duality, so I know that my wishes for “better”, couldn’t even exist if we didn’t have “worse”. 

– In his book “The Four Agreements”, Don Miguel Ruiz teaches us that we should never take anything personally. This he explains, is because everything a person says and does is a reflection of his own self! Nothing you say or do has anything to do with me. Nothing I say or do has anything to do with you.

We learn as we walk the spiritual path, that the outer world is not to control our inner world. This means that while I may wish you felt better, or that we had world peace, there is no reason for me to get down about it if you feel down and we don’t have world peace. Maybe you are like me and you have to find things out on your own and in your own way. Maybe the only thing I can do about world peace is to be peaceful myself? (they do say that “world peace starts with me”)

So I give you permission to be exactly where you are. I give the world permission to be exactly where it is. I see the beauty in you, and I see the beauty in everyone, no matter what.

But I control what I think and how I feel. I know what I know, and I know it well, because I found out for myself.

It feels good to be able to allow everyone to be who they are right now. Then I can be where I am right now. I have a grateful heart, and I feel good.

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